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The Name

by Claire Hawkins

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1.
The Name 03:14
I’ve been sitting on a highway Watching cars go by Thinking living in the fast lane Could’ve kept me from hitting rewind Oh these hands of mine How they tell the time All the lonesome times I slipped away As I’ve moved around I said I liked the sound But I just can’t get myself to say the name A lot of things can feel like summer Blue skies or warm rain It’s so easy to hold on To what you know is gonna change Oh these hands of mine How they tell the time All the lonesome times I slipped away As I’ve moved around I said I liked the sound But I just can’t get myself to say the name When were you out of the blue? And how did you stay? ‘Cause I’ve been strong But this moving on Has guided me astray And it’s taking me far away Oh these hands of mine How they tell the time All the lonesome times I slipped away As I’ve moved around I said I liked the sound But I just can’t get myself to say the name
2.
It feels a little bit heavy, like I’m told it should I was a little unready; didn’t know if I could With everything and nothing holding me here Now I’m making plans for the rest of the year And everyone is saying It’s not a choice that I need to make It’s just a voice pointing out everything that’s at stake No one I know is gonna point the way But I know staying put is still choosing to stay He talks a little bit to me, like I wished he would He sees a little bit through me, where the walls once stood With everything and nothing pouring out my lips Now that it's not broken, I can look for the fix While everyone is saying It’s not a choice that I need to make It’s just a voice pointing out everything that’s at stake No one I know is gonna point the way But I know staying put is still choosing to stay I’ve learned to ignore the weight Not all who hurt have to numb the pain I can bear it pushing down on me It’s only a little bit heavy It’s not a choice that I need to make It’s just a voice pointing out everything that’s at stake No one I know is gonna point the way But I know staying put is still choosing to stay
3.
She 04:18
She takes her time She lives loud and unwise She’s stalling while calling out for more She doesn’t know what for She’s on the edge of the night She’s only blinded by the light Nothing unspoken Endless outward hoping Keeping me tied to her She can’t compromise She acts of her own design She’s wanting and haunting every space She can’t keep a straight face She’s on the edge of the night She’s only blinded by the light Nothing unspoken Endless outward hoping Keeping me tied to her Her voice inside my ears Her freedom in the years Her laugh echoes my tears Her fun is to be had Her future takes that path Her time, it won’t come back She’s on the edge of the night She’s only blinded by the light She’s on the edge of the night She’s only blinded by the light Nothing unspoken Endless outward hoping Keeping me tied to her
4.
Honesty 02:48
I heard from some celebrity Talking about therapy How it don’t come easily Holding back her honesty I know I wear it on my face Feelings I cannot erase Thoughts without a hiding place Your lips they know the bitter taste And now I can see Why some people, they choose not to speak Remember in the darker days My mind would try to suffocate, Bare its teeth, and scare away, Putting nothing on display I know I wore that muscle out Biting tongue and closing mouth And now the language won’t allow Keeping it all in the house And so you can see Why your reticence is so hard for me The windows of the world look down On what we shouldn’t speak about Ties they say can’t be unwound How the past relates to now Still the filter’s coming off My words will have to pay the cost This open door will stay unlocked Fighting all that I was taught And then they will see Why my breath runs away with me All that I can do to keep From overstating everything Is hope that you’re not following Listening when I sing For every liberty I take I promise you my mind will pay A piece of my own heart will break With every smile I can’t fake
5.
Bad 02:55
You asked “who’s Lindsay Lohan?” ‘Cause you heard her name in a song And you’ve never seen ‘Friends’ Don’t they have tv where you’re from? And you’re a feminist But you can’t talk about it So you’re studying the facts But just because I haven’t had better, don’t mean this isn’t bad You say vulgar things in your sleep While my mind keeps me up And you’re having more fun in your dreams So I won’t interrupt And you’re experienced And I’m new at this And I don’t mean to brag, But just because I haven’t had better, don’t mean this isn’t bad It’s not a river, just ‘cause it flows It’s not a balancing act if you’re falling off the tightrope It’s not a movie, if there’s only one scene Call it “creative,” but this is not what that means. A Christmas text message A family I don't have to meet A book about men on motorbikes That I didn't have to read You're unreachable But I'm teachable And I'm learning fast, That just because I haven't had better, don't mean this isn't bad Just because I haven’t had better…

credits

released October 27, 2023

Written by Claire Hawkins
Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by Katie Buchanan

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Claire Hawkins New York, New York

Claire Hawkins has brought her unique Americana sound across the globe.
Her latest EP ‘The Name’ mixes the traveling singer/songwriter’s folk-rock influences with her modern pop sensibilities. Written across Berlin, Dublin, and New York City, the songs’ themes are as eclectic as the cities that inspired them. ... more

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